Women and porn

Resources for women who's partner is engaged in porn:


Highly redemptive book that focuses on the spiritual health of the woman NOT on fixing a spouse. If you are dealing with a struggle in your marriage and when you feel betrayed it is easy to work on saving your marriage by trying to control the healing of your husband and enevatibly women try to save their husbands. This is a disappointing role to take. Healing comes from God and what women often ignore in this situation is their own spiritual brokenness-- instead they often tear themselves apart in an unhealthy way and become broken by lies rooted in pain rather than broken and healed by the soothing and exact hand of God. This book focuses on the latter form of healing: When Your Husband Is Addicted to Pornogoraphy. http://www.amazon.com/When-Your-Husband-Addicted-Pornography/dp/1936768631

Another good resource for couples working through porn addiction within the marriage is Peace Maker Ministries. This ministry focuses on the restoration of individuals and the relationship.  Finally women are not exempt from porn addiction: XXX church is a great resource and brings about awareness to a largely silent disease. Porn use and addiction is often normalized, but the fact that it is normalized does not mean that it is healthy. Nonreligious studies just as religious studies present time and time again that Pornogoraphy is HARMFUL to the individuals that partake in its use along with those effected by the addiction relationally. Sex was made within a certain context to be / stay good-- porn nuters men and women's sexual drive and workers like a drug where one dose is not enough-- you have to keep turning up the dose until nothing works anymore. Until the most romantic evening with your smoking hot wife just won't do it for you anymore. Starting out when many young boys and men are preyed upon by Pornogoraphy websites i doubt they cite that disclaimer, but the result is inevitable. Women and men get abused by the sadistic acts that come from porn Instead of learning each other and getting creative together which brings you closer you are introduced to sadistic and extreme sexual acts at such a high dose that the possibility for creativity and mutual exploration within a couple is no longer a possibility. The mystery is stolen away. You robbed your wife of her mystery-- the porn industry robbed the mystery of your wife from you. Get angry. Make a change. Get your (better) longer lasting sex drive back. Own your own sex drive within your marriage instead of letting a money hungry, and often criminal industry tell you how to use what God created for good.

Throughts from RWE on Women

My favorite excerpts from Ralf Waldo Emerson's lecture on Woman, which was presented prior to the Women's Rights Convention in 1855.

There is no gift of Nature without some draw-back. So, to women, this exquisite structure could not exist without its own penalty. More vulnerable, more infirm, more mortal than men, they could not be such excellent artists in this element of fancy if they did not lend and give themselves to it. They are poets who believe their own poetry. They emit from their pores a colored atmosphere, one would say, wave upon wave of rosy light, in which they walk evermore, and see all objects through this warm-tinted mist that envelops them. But the starry crown of woman is in the power of her affection and sentiment, and the infinite enlargements to which they lead. Beautiful is the passion of love, painter and adorner of youth and early life : but who suspects, in its blushes and tremors, what tragedies, hero-isms and immortalities are beyond it? The passion, with all its grace and poetry, is profane to that which follows it. All these affections are only introductory to that which is beyond, and to that which is sublime. We men have no right to say it, but the omnipotence of Eve is in humility. The instincts of mankind have drawn the Virgin Mother - " Created beings all in lowliness Surpassing, as in height above them all."' This is the Divine Person whom Dante and Milton saw in vision. This is the victory of Griselda, her supreme humility. And it is when love has reached this height that all our pretty rhetoric begins to have meaning. When we see that, it adds to the soul a new soul, it is honey in the mouth, music in the ear and balsam in the heart.

When new opinions appear, they will be entertained and respected, by every fair mind, according to their reasonableness, and not according to their convenience, or their fitness to shock our customs. But let us deal with them greatly ; let them make their way by the upper road, and not by the way of manufacturing public opinion, which lapses continually into expediency, and makes charlatans. All that is spontaneous is irresistible, and forever it is individual force that interests. I need not repeat to you - your own solitude will suggest it - that a masculine woman is not strong, but a lady is. The loneliest thought, the purest prayer, is rushing to be the history of a thousand years. Let us have the true woman, the adorner, the hospitable, the religious heart, and no lawyer need be called in to write stipulations, the cunning clauses of provision, the strong investitures; - for woman moulds the lawgiver and writes the law. But I ought to say, I think it impossible to separate the interests and education of the sexes. Improve and refine the men, and you do the same by the women, whether you will or no. Every woman being the wife or the daughter of a man, - wife, daughter, sister, mother, of a man, she can never be very far from his ear, never not of his counsel, if she has really some-thing to urge that is good in itself and agreeable to nature. Slavery it is that makes slavery ; freedom, freedom. The slavery of women happened when the men were slaves of kings. The melioration of manners brought their melioration of course. It could not be otherwise, and hence the new desire of better laws. For there are always a certain number of passionately loving fathers, brothers, husbands and sons who put their might into the endeavor to make a daughter, a wife, or a mother happy in the way that suits best. Woman should find in man her guardian. Silently she looks for that, and when she finds that. he is not, as she instantly does, she betakes her to her own defences, and does the best she can. But when he is her guardian, fulfilled with all nobleness, knows and accepts his duties as her brother, all goes well for both. The new movement is only a tide shared by the spirits of man and woman; and you may proceed in the faith that whatever the woman's heart is prompted to desire, the man's mind is simultaneously prompted to accomplish.'

Synonyms of my soul:

Dance;pray

Run;Rest

Chaos;Peace

Joy;Heart Ache

Lazy;Busy work

Productive;Restoration

Love;Serve

Life;Adventure

Lack of adventure;Dead

Writing;Therapy

Future;His

Perfect relationship;Holy trinity;Giving AND receiving

Friends;Strangers

Strangers;Brothers and sisters

Boldness; humility

Try;fail

Do;succeed

To be continued; The End.

growth

“after awhile you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
and you learn that love doesn't mean security,
and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises.
and you begin to accept your defeats with you head up and your eyes open.
with the grace of maturity, not the grief of a child.
and you learn to build all your roads on
today because tommorow's ground is too uncertain for plans,
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
after awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
and you learn that you really can endure...
that you really are strong
and that you really do have worth.
and you learn and learn and learn ....
with every goodbye you learn.”

~ veronica a. shoffstal

Nobility

I found this wonderful poem in a very old book at an Antique store in the Factory in Franklin.

Nobility by Alice Cary

True worth is in being, not seeming,—
In doing, each day that goes by,
Some little good—not in dreaming
Of great things to do by and by.
For whatever men say in their blindness,
And spite of the fancies of youth,

There's nothing so kingly as kindness,
And nothing so royal as truth.
We get back our mete as we measure—
We cannot do wrong and feel right,
Nor can we give pain and gain pleasure,
For justice avenges each slight.
The air for the wing of the sparrow,
The bush for the robin and wren,
But always the path that is narrow
And straight, for the children of men.

'Tis not in the pages of story
The heart of its ills to beguile,
Though he who makes courtship to glory
Gives all that he hath for her smile.
For when from her heights he has won her,
Alas! it is only to prove
That nothing's so sacred as honor,
And nothing so loyal as love!

We cannot make bargains for blisses,
Nor catch them like fishes in nets;
And sometimes the thing our life misses
Helps more than the thing which it gets.
For good lieth not in pursuing,
Nor gaining of great nor of small,
But just in the doing, and doing
As we would be done by, is all.

Through envy, through malice, through hating,
Against the world, ,early and late.
No jot of our courage abating
Our part is to work and to wait
And slight is the sting of his trouble
Whose winnings are less than his worth.
For he who is honest is noble
Whatever his fortunes or birth.

At the dawn of my 22nd year

My feet are tired but my heart is at rest.

My eyes are heavy but my spirit is light.

My body is tired yet my soul is wide awake.

I’m not home, but I’m not lost.

God is great. God is good.

All to Thee, Beloved. Lets keep going. :)

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Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

What's Missing...

"What’s missing? A life of meaning, a life of ideas and reading books and being valued for our thoughts and accomplishments.” —More Here