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I believe in one thing more than anything else. "Vanity of vanities, and all is vanity, except to love God, and to serve Him only"-Thomas Kempis

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Love. Nouwen.

“You will discover that the more love you can take in and hold on to, the less fearful you will become. you will speak more simply, more directly, and more freely about what is important to you, without fear of other people’s reactions. you will also use fewer words, trusting that you communicate your true self even when you do not speak much.”

–Henri J.M. Nouwen

The above quote perfectly describes the shape my life has taken in the past 6 months or so. Henri Nouwen has such beautiful and unique insight it is so simple. So true.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Refuse

I'm unwilling to sell my soul yet I also refuse to live in a box. This confuses people for some reason.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Prayer

"We may admire Him, we may respect Him and reverence Him, but we cannot love Him. The only Lover of the Lord Jesus is the Holy Ghost, and He sheds abroad the very love of God in our hearts. Whenever the Holy Ghost sees a chance of glorifying Jesus, He will take your heart, your nerves, your whole personality, and simply make you blaze and glow with devotion to Jesus Christ."- Oswald chambers

Make this true for me, my sovereign Beloved.

I will do whatever it takes to be conformed to the character of Christ.

Monday, June 28, 2010

I have fallen in love...

With Lord Byron. Here is why. :)

She Walks in Beauty, by Lord Byron:



She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that 's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellow'd to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impair'd the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!

Its funny that I used to think that poetry was something a bit too silly and sappy for me, but now I can't get enough of it. About four years ago I started reading a lot of British poetry as a guilty pleasure. Then Robert Louis Stevenson poetry truly convinced me to appreciate poetry without shame. Slowly but surely I'm adding poets to my list of favorites, and Lord Byron has certainly secured a spot.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Just look away

There are horrors in this world my dear, darling child. Such pain comes from these and seeing you fret, well it just makes me cringe for I can fix this problem of yours.

I can see you now, you don't know what to do about the sorrow in which they live, but do not fear or tremble. More than anything do NOT go near the destruction, do not even glance towards the direction of their sorrow. They could pull you down. I fear you would become stuck there forever, and you, delicate girl, do not belong in such a place. I can take all this pain and confusion away from your eyes. I can give you a clear mind, pretty face and soft hands. I can make you a bed of constant comfort, and- my dear princess- I will build you a fine castle. All you have to do is look away. Look away from these horrors, my darling. When you go out on the town your carriage will rise so high; you won't even have to worry about seeing the slums of pain down below. Soon, so very soon dear child you will forget that they even exist. Your life will be soft. Your life will be smooth.

Just look away. Look away, child, and I will give you everything. The cost is small, so small. You could even say it has no size at all! Such a tiny sacrifice to give up for what you are getting in return, your highness. Oh, what a queen you shall become! Just turn your head darling, it will only cost a soul.


Friday, June 11, 2010

My Utmost- Oswald Chambers

Disclaimer: Again, this is mostly to help me remember something that interested me, but if you like it too then awesome!

I've heard a little bit here and there about the minister Oswald Chambers, but I never really read anything of his. So, today I ran across this somewhere online and its pretty cool to have his full text devotional My Utmost.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Nerd... I love this sentance.

The Funny-Man Who Repented, by Monteiro Lobato

"A merchant to whom he owed some money said to him one day amidst sputters of laughter, "You at least are amusing, not like Major Sourpuss, who lets his bills go unpaid with a frown." This left-handed compliment vexed our joker, more or less; but his debt amounted to fifteen milreis, and it seemed better to swallow the taunt. However, the memory of that prick stuck in his mind like a pin in the cushion of his self-respect."

I won't go in to an exhaustive analysis on this excerpt; you can make of it and relate to it as you will. I know can certainly relate to that statement and that is probably why I like it so much. It comes from a short story that I found in A World of Great Stories, a book I got at the library, that has 155 short stories from around the world (much as the name implies). This one represents the literature of Brazil. That last sentence is the type that any author would hope to write, I would think. I am in love with that sentence, because it is so telling and it sums up every nuance in one short play on words.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Google Alerts

Today my lovely sister, Nicole, showed me the joys of Google Alerts. If you don't know about it already, in short, Google Alerts is a system that basically sends you links related to topics that you would have put in a prior request for information.

Its a wonderful thing because I have been needing some kind of (convenient) venue or resource to better explore the things that I'm interested in, and this has been great so far! Today, for example, I was looking at this french blog and randomly clicked on a link to a different online publication called The Huffington Post.

As a life long religion major, it seems, of course I clicked in the religion section first. There were many articles that grabbed my interest, but this one with the title The Surprise of Being a Christian. I found this to be a beautiful article, and I can relate to it quite a bit. The author mentioned that he had to become a theologian in order to become a Christian, which seems very similar to how I came to Christianity, which was a refreshing discovery. That being said, it is a great article, but I laughed when I realized that the author was Stanley Haurwas, who also just happens to a professor of Theological Ethics at Duke Divinity school, and the author of one of my Christian Ethics text books.

Small world? Apparently so. Thanks Google alerts!

This may not (and by that I mean probably won't) interest anyone other than myself, but
Google Alerts is great and you might find some interesting information if you check out those links! :) Not to mention that it will remind me to check them out when I undoubtedly forget about The Huffington Post and Google Alerts in a month.

In other News, I miss France:


Nice, France August 2009

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Brothers and Sisters

I want to live like every man is my brother, and every woman is my sister. How much differently would I treat each person if this were the case? How would I view their offensives against me and how much more would I yearn to respect and love them?

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Vanity

Selfishness is the painful affliction of the world. Each person carries the load of self, which causes him to stumble, the weight is a heavy load that causes sweat to form the brow and blind a man's vision. But he will not let go, he is fighting to the noble death for the life of this load.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Goal

I want to grow up to be like Robin Hood. Living adventure- loving the world and take care of those in need all in service of my Beloved. Stick it to the man and kick injustice to the curb!! I am so excited for Everything that is happening! :)

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

A Wren

This is me:

Wren: "A Sadly winsome little creature that makes dresses for dolls. Free spirited exuberance, restrained elegance and low key sophistication" http://www.wren-clothing.com/

Which is cool considering Wren is my (nick)name. :)

Saturday, April 24, 2010

God...

God "lives like music in the skin
and sounds like a sunshine"-Unknown

Lines Written In Early Spring by William Wordsworth:

And 'tis my faith that every flower
Enjoys the air it breathes.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

At the moment

The past week was Spring break... I will admit that I am not ready for it to end! Yet, part of me is excited to get back to life and business.

Without going into too much detail I will say that I needed to read this and I am glad I ran past it.

Ephesians 1:18-23

I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.

Sometimes its good to remember the point and the goal. The reason for all of this work and all of this constant heartbreak. Though it is of the kind healing it is still painful. That reminds me of one of my favorite Robert Louis Stevenson poems: The Celestial Surgeon http://www.poetry-archive.com/s/the_celestial_surgeon.html

Also, I ran into this link to the Journey church online... http://www.journeyfranklin.com/I kind of love it and I want to visit. The approach they take is so honest and so true to what I think church is meant to be for individuals as well as the community. It is truly beautiful.
Right now I'm listening to the podcast on Marriage is a Set-up/Displaying Life Through Death :http://journeyfranklin.com/podcast/message022810.mp3 . I find this to be so true, honest, and most of all... real and I think we need more of this in church and community. The pastor mentioned in this podcast that"Theology is played out in the brokenness of our lives", which was also something I needed to remember. You can't run away, you have to stay to experience all parts of life. The death, and the new life. The repetition of the process of transformation.
Do listen if you get a chance I think it really emphasizes that point even though it is in the context of marriage there is still a greater point within the context of the sermon! :) I think you will find it to be enlightening both in content and approach.

Here's for looking up and going forward friends!
Love always, always love <3

Friday, March 12, 2010

Amen.

I have nothing to add. This is perfect, right, beautiful and everything I hope to be:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace
,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

-Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi

Thursday, March 11, 2010

7 things

Nicole did this on her blog so I thought I would too! :) I'm on Spring break right now and it is wonderful to get some rest and time away from the norm. I went to Disney World for a short trip with my mom, sister and JL, and I need to load my pictures soon. Then tonight I got to have dinner with my parents and Uncle Dick who was in town for business. It was so great getting to reconnect with family! The best thing about Spring break is being able to rest! Lord knows I need it and I'm going to take advantage of it right about now!

Ok here we go! 7 random things:

1. When I'm nervous.... I work to get over it, but if it does show my voice shakes and I turn red and I try to stay quiet.

2. My favorite item in my closet is.... hmm, it changes everyday I love my dresses though... especially sundresses!

3. Reading at a coffee shop ...... For my lighter reading I usually stick to allegories, and anything by Robert Louis Stevenson or Hans Christian Anderson.

4. My favorite childhood memory is..... Just living... breathing, smiling and playing in the sun with my sister and my mom, and going to the park as a family especially when our puppies could come! Naps, playing dress up, dancing... Even though its a little different now I still do most of these things... :)

5. Something you may not know about me is.... Its easy for me to truly love people, but its much harder for me to like anyone, yet part of me loves and likes everyone because they are all beautiful children of God. Also, I'm naturally very shy, but have recently become extroverted so I kind of go back and forth between the two.

6. A true friend.... this is still something I'm trying to figure out, and I'm starting to understand it but I can't quite put into words. I just know I have some lovely friends and I am so thankful for every one of them and everything I have learned in the processes of these friendships. The people we associate with influence us so much more than we think.

7. Something I hope people think of when they think of me is.... That I truly love them. That I live a life of boldness, love and kindness. I work hard to do what is good and what is right. Also, that I am just so in love with life, the life that God has given me and I hope to take it in and experience all that I can because it is beautiful and there is always something to learn and/or appreciate! :)

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Inadequacy of Humanity

Maybe sometimes we have to experience that men don’t love us, (or how incapable men are at loving us) in order to fully understand that God does. By men, I do mean men individually, but much more than that I mean mankind. Humanity is so incapable in the area of loving each other.
Though, I hope to be different. If that could even remotely be the case it would not be possible through me.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Identity

Where do you find your identity?

More importantly, where do you think you should you find your identity?

I would love for all and any of you who reads this to answer those questions, either rhetorically, or (preferably in a comment). :) I would like to see what you guys have to say. I am planning on thinking about this and posting another blog about it later... so long as I get responses!! ;) I will also add my thoughts on the matter.


Every breath is Holy (part of God's will), remember that today... think about what that really means. (I'll probably write more on that later too. I wish I could write all of these blogs now, but its midterms! I am also about to go to my RA interview! Prayers are graciously welcome!)

I truly love you all,

Jennifer

Thursday, February 25, 2010

How to be a Lady

This is a blog I wrote a few months ago, but I guess I never finished it. I'll just Post what I had so far, and hopefully expound upon this subject later.

We, women, no longer value being respected, and therefore have no self respect. Once we finally reach the painful understanding that we have been living without respect we don't understand why. The most common response to this that I've seen is a girl/woman immediately things that there is something wrong with them, which is not the case.

The key here, ladies, is to BE a lady. Be respectable.

WE are all much more transparent than we think. You have to be the person you want everyone to think you are, and yet, what everyone else thinks is not what matters. Far from what matters actually, unless you want to be neurotic, mere copy of the person you are meant to be than you will know the true authority to which you should answer.

So, what does it mean to be a lady? Here are some the things on my list:

Be open to hear and value other's thought as well as your own.

What you think is important, and the reason behind it is possibly even more important. Reason is important.

A Lady does NOT hold her hand out asking the world to provide her with her needs (or as we often see... her wants. AKA luxurious unnecessary excess funded by others). No one will get your stuff together other than you... so you better get used to it and work for what you want, or else its just not going to happen.

A Lady stays with in her means and is diligent, bright, focused, looking towards the future, yet content to soak in the joys and lessons of the present.

A lady doesn't have "daddy" do the work for her, or anyone else for that matter.

A lady is always respectful of others no matter how she is treated, but that doesn't mean that she is a glutton for punishment or that she takes poor treatment lightly. She just handles it it a respectful way.

A lady admits when she is wrong or unsure and willing to work (hard) to change what needs to change.


That's all for now. What do you all think? What did I leave out? :)

Be blessed, for you are loved, valued and worth so much more than you know. Think about that today... <3

Monday, February 22, 2010

Polar

This years problems are the opposite from last years problems. Its a bittersweet feeling; when I finally faced what I feared. I no longer fear, but I long for something. Now that I am free from the net that ensnared me, I sense a form of loneliness or longing for that net.

Facing fears is a terrifying thing, but no one told me about this unique sense of loss that I would find in this empty and open sky. In this freedom I find that I miss the violent storm and the warm beams of the sun.

My freedom leaves me a bit empty, a little too neutral, a little too plain.

And yet, I am where I need to be; where I should be. I think I just need to take this peacefulness I have and continue to work on doing what I need to do... but also, maybe throw in a little bit what of what I want to do as well. I'm on a quest to do what is right and good in my life and I think having some fun is certainly allowed. :)

Friday, January 15, 2010

What Does God think about you?

Yesterday in my Spiritual Formation class (which is amazing, by the way) Dr. Curtis asked us to journal about this question:

When God is looking down on you what do you think He is thinking about you and your life?

Here is what I wrote (and then I'll describe what I was thinking about when I wrote it):


As much as I forget this fact, the first thought that came to my mind was that great and overwhelming sense of love and joy God must have in looking at my life. I hesitate to say or even think that because I know very well all of my many faults, sins, and failures. I also know that God can see the the depths of my disparity and all of those shortcomings better than I ever could. Though, when I think about my life from God's perspective I can only step into the memories I have had over seeing the joy and development in the life of others. It brings me joy to see the process and growth in the life of others and God must have a similar feeling about my life especially as part of His creation.




I was thinking about this story Dr. Curtis told us about his morning walks with his dog Abelard (which if you know about obscure theologians is a funny and yet fitting name for the dog for a professor in the religion department). Dr. Curtis loves those walks, you can tell by the way he calmly repeats while gazing into the distance "Its a wonderful way. No! Its the the best way to start the morning".

He told us about the golf course about half a mile from his house and then he would let Abelard off the leash to run around. Then how Abelard would chase two tennis balls (because he wouldn't let go of one until he saw the other), which was more fun, amusing, and just plain joyful for both Abelard and for Dr. Curtis. There was plenty of fun to be had for Abelard and Dr. Curtis seemed to enjoy that time because he was able to observe his dog play and enjoy/soak up what his life, as a dog, had to offer him. Everything from chasing squires to playing with other dogs to scoping out coyotes was part of what brought Abelard to life, and part of why Dr. Curtis enjoyed the morning... because he got to see his dog live and develop and enjoy merely living.

He didn't say it, but I think Dr. Curtis meant for us to connect this idea to how we think of God and how we relate that to how God thinks about us. He said that it is important how we view ourselves because that influences how we view how God sees us and how we view God.

God is forever gifting us with the Grace of His presence. Grace, as Dr. Curtis put it, is the air we breath.


After all of this, I'll ask you to think about that same question: What does God think about you? Truly reflect on that, and feel free to comment what you came up with! I would LOVE to see what anyone else has to say! :)

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

I need to read more Kipling.

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

--Rudyard Kipling

Spring semester is on the horizon!

I am really excited for what I am going to learn in my classes this semester. I have four religion classes (for I am a Christian Ethics major!) and I also have one psychology class (for my psych minor). The Psychology class is one that I am NOT looking forward to: Biological Psychology. Bless my professor, who (I've had for a class once before) has perhaps the most dry personality I have ever encountered, though, he is a very sweet man and genuinely cares about the students. Not to mention, although it is fascinating and important... I'm just not as passionate on the subject of neurotransmitters.


As far as religion classes I am taking:

-Christian Ethics
-Spiritual Formation
-Martyrs, Mystics, and Saints
-Jesus and the Gospel in film (8 week night class, whoo?)


I am especially excited for the first three! My books for those three have started coming in and I've even started reading them, believe it or not!
This one that I've started is for Martyrs, Mystics, and Saints!


I had the same professor for M,M, and S in a class last semester and I really learned a lot from her, so I am excited to have a 3 credit class with her and to hear more of what she has to say. Part of what I love about the religion department is not that I agree with everyone 100% (because I don't), but I love the respectful atmosphere. There is so much to learn from in seeing the other perspectives that my peers and professors have, and to look at where they are coming from in their approach to each subject. It is glorious. Truly. :) There is something so unique and powerful about looking at things from other perspectives, especially in the realm of Christianity. I love to see where God has met other people and how they respond to His loving presence.

Sorry this might be a really boring blog post! Haha. I'll try to have something more interesting to read next time! :)

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Hiding Place

I love the Redemption Songs album by Jars of Clay. I love this song and can relate to it very much so I thought I would share! :)


Hiding Place



Amidst the sorrows of the way
Lord Jesus, teach my soul to pray

Let me taste Thy special grace
And run to Christ, my hiding place

You know the vileness of my heart
So prone to act the rebel's part

And when You veil Your lovely face
How can I find a hiding place

Hiding place, hiding place

Lord, guide my wandering feet
Draw me to Thy mercy seat
I've nought to trust but sovereign grace
Thou only art my hiding place

How unstable is my heart
Sometimes I take the tempter's part
And slight the tokens of Thy grace
And seem to want no hiding place

Hiding place, hiding place

But when Thy spirit shines within
Makes me feel the plague of sin
And how I long to see Thy face
'Tis then I want a hiding place


Lord Jesus, shine and then I can
Feel sweetness in salvation's plan

And as a sinner plead for grace
Christ, the sinner's hiding place
And as a sinner plead for grace
Christ, the sinner's hiding place

Saturday, January 2, 2010

New Blog New year! :)

I wanted a more.. well public blog I guess. One to document of my life better.

Its a new year... and a new decade at that I have several "resolutions" in mind since I'm all for the movement and progress of life and the development of learning the things of life, so the idea of resolutions sounds good.

Here they are:

-Be more transparent.
- Figure out what I need/want in life and be a bit more upfront with others and myself.
- Continue to work hard, and yet retain joy and passion for life/work/school/people and relationships.
- Actually use this blog and update it on at least a semi-regular basis! (Keep me accountable, and we'll see how it goes!)
- Go to more shows!!
- Find a good balance for all of the seemingly contradictory aspects of life (AKA, hard work vs. rest, altruism vs. standing up for myself, and many, many more things). As Martin Luther says "But if these contradictions could work together... how perfect and beautiful it would be".
- Have fun and to see/experience MANY beautiful and interesting things!
- Definitely a closer relationship with God... I love to study theology more than anything, but I need to pray and actually talk to God more. Its the most important thing to me and I never want to neglect that.
- Find a time that will work and commit to a bible study/ small group!!
- Meet new people/ friends and to reconnect with old friends, which I hope will open my eyes and broaden my world.
- To broaden my world in general.
- Grow in love for life, God, people, and well... just everything. :)

This could probably be a longer list if I thought about it more or if I got into more detail, but I figure that these cover the basics and its more than long enough for anyone to read!

I pray that this year will bring a lot of growth, new understanding, optimistically bright eyes, and joy.

Stand back... Off for a new adventure! :)




P.S. Thank you for reading! Bless you in this new year, for you are loved and beautiful!